Like the rest of Australia, I've been tuning out of the Bachelor and Bachelorette franchises.
It's nothing to do with the people they pick on the show but more to do with the formula. I don't even need to hear what they're saying to know what the screen grab is going to be about.
"We really connected and yeah, there's a spark there that's growing"
"He/she makes me laugh. I always have a good time when I'm with them"
"They make me feel safe"
Blah blah blah vomit.
You know the show I want to watch? One where they do an offside with a contender who says things like
"If he picks that f'n b%^&* for a date I'm going to claw both their eyes out with my dirty fingernails"
"There is not one thing I like about that drab, boring bachelor/bachelorette but I'm here for fame so more camera please"
"That's the bachelor/bachelorette??? oh god, this is going to be hard to fake"
And what about those dates! Since when is death defying, risk taking the ideal? Let's face it, if your relationship is going to work, you're going to be spending the majority of it sitting on the couch with comfort food watching shitty shows like the Bachelor so if you can't do that together, don't even bother with the other stuff! Do that shit with your friends!
They tried to make it interesting with Sofie Monk's season. That was the best! And that's because she went off script a few times!
But then they went for the sisters.... didn't work. It would ONLY work if the sisters were choosing from the same pool of men otherwise all you've got is two bachelorette shows happening at the same time. Boring.
Now they have the first bisexual woman as a bachelorette. Boring. Not the fact that she's bisexual,
but that they think people will watch to see women kiss. Firstly, it's a natual thing, secondly, there's this thing called THE INTERNET where you can watch girls kiss all you want!! And again, they have separated the men and women contenders in the house. Now that's not any fun!! I want to see the drama when the contenders hook up!
Powers that be, NOBODY is in it to watch a love story.
While I'm not really watching it, my Fetch box continues to record it and I just watched Wednesday night's episode. I watched the Rose Ceremony and saw that Brooke eliminated the girl who had her matching eye shadow colour.
I guess there can only be one person in that house with "punched in the eye" blue eyeshadow.
And now my next task, if I choose to accept it, is to delete that automatic recording from my Fetch box!
Wish me luck.
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